Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme
TV's prominent entertainers spent their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa program, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant cash-for-residency scheme for the rich.
The Late Show's Pointed Analysis
Opening his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas tune targeting the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he crooned. "The President ... spoils each thing he handles."
The focus was the controversial plan which enables international nationals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of a million dollars, with a "premium" version for 5 million. The program's page pledges approval "faster than ever."
"A quick thought here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.
He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "get cash" from firms wishing to hire foreign workers, requiring significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he said.
"The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely qualify to be in America."
"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast
On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."
"It's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he stated. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."
"It might be time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."
"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval numbers during economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he said.
Recently, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal.
"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."
"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"
Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he laughed.
