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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive glossary to the terms this generation is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {